This weekend I explored Corona Del Mar with someone who admires the ocean and it’s healing powers as much as me. We drove down PCH rocking out to some amazing tunes to spend a few hours next to the healing power of the ocean.
I realized as we made our way there, I haven’t spent much time connecting with the ocean in the last year. I avoided putting my feet in the water or going to stack rocks because I used to do that with someone I loved who is no longer in my life (not dead, just gone). It was sort of “our thing” I suppose. We used to go every weekend and it felt sort of sacred to me.
But I realized…it doesn’t just have to be “our thing” anymore. It can by MY thing. It can be something I share with someone else. It may have started with us, but it doesn’t have to stay exclusive to that either. So I was excited for this excursion. To not only explore a new area, but also take back this activity I had been missing.
I have always loved the ocean, ever since I was little. Any time I’ve struggled in life, I’ve turned to the ocean. I’d day dream about it. I’ve always wanted to live near it, be able to put my toes in the sand and feel it’s warmth as the sun makes my skin glow and perspire. Hear the sound of the waves crashing and the smell of the salty air and sunblock. It….is….everything to me. I don’t know why I waited so long to return.
The great thing about Corona Del Mar is that if you hike a bit, you can find a cove to spend some time in alone. It’s not surrounded by tons of tourists and beach goers. At most, you might spot a few other people, but for the most part, it’s just you and the ocean. You can find a nice little cove to sit in and just admire the view. That’s exactly what I did.
I put my toes in the sand and listened to the waves. I ran out to the ocean and put my feet in and let the cold water send chills up my spine. I stacked rocks and I was at one with the ocean again. I felt like me again. I felt like a new and improved version of my old self. But most importantly, I felt at peace.
I feel like I’ve been working extremely hard to find peace in the chaos that has been my life since I left my abusive relationship at 25 and picked up the bottle. There is so much more to the world then ugliness and pain. It’s moments like this weekend that are worth living for. The world still holds so much beauty, so much I haven’t even seen or experienced yet. Bad things have happened but they make the good things that much sweeter.
I took this photo while we were there.. I think is represents the two things in my life that has always healed me. The ocean and music. As I sat in the sand I was staring into the distance but as my eyes focused in closer, I had to capture my feeling in this moment and this photo did that. So much music is inspired by moments like this I think. Moments of clarity, peace and a release of pain and past hurts.
It was a beautiful day. One I won’t soon forget. I’m grateful for this experience and I look forward to many more. I will no longer be afraid or hesitate to return to the water. I will embrace and accept my past for what it is – learn and grow from it. I will allow people to see this side of myself and share in this experiences with others.