Today was really fucking hard to get out of bed. I wanted nothing more than to stay under the covers and block out the sun and forget the day was about to begin. 

When I did finally get out of bed, I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long amount of time then cried at my kitchen sink while my coffee was brewing for no identifiable reason other then I needed to. 

I took my shower, got dressed and did my makeup. As I walked out of my front door I realized that it may not seem like a huge accomplishment to some, but sometimes just leaving the house is a struggle.

Once I got into my car I played this song. TinaDean Gard shared this song with me recently and it’s been the medicine I’ve needed on more than one occasion now. 

Saving one’s self is a grueling fucking process and I’m in the thick of it. It can make you feel isolated, alone and sometimes a crying mess for no apparent reason. Today is that kind of day for me but I know its for the greater good because once I save myself, then I can face pretty much anything this world throws at me.